Turning Pink Papers into Green Bills
I’ve always looked at the lottery and wondered how it works and how I can be one of the winners. I mean, there’s got to be some way to work the system and find out simple cheats. I mean, people can google anything and get “hacks” to make things simpler and more effective. Well, I came across a phenomenon called Lottery Gurus! Let me tell you; these gurus are geniuses. These gurus have helped me realize how many missed opportunities I’ve passed on because I haven’t played. The very first tip I learned was to play! I mean, why didn’t I think of that? How do I expect to win if I didn’t play? That just upped my chances 100%! I thought to myself, “I’m off to a good start.” Now… I had to think of how I wanted to play; did I want to play the scratch-offs, the Powerball, Mega Millions, or those skimpy Pick 3 or Pick 4 prizes? I quickly felt overwhelmed. But, me being a trooper and armed with the help of my newfound lottery mentors, I decided to try a little bit of it all. These are the lessons that these gurus taught me.
Choose the Right Game – It’s All About the Odds
In my head, when I read this, I didn’t understand what they meant. Is it the right game? Aren’t they all the same? According to the gurus, they aren’t. I’m a girl, so I was drawn to games with shiny backgrounds or bright colors. Well, these games appear to be the most expensive (Hey, I was going into my lottery foray full force. Money was no object considering I’m taking the advice of these gurus. I paid for winning information!). Well, these high-priced, colorful games have lower payouts with horrible odds of winning.
Budget Yourself – Don’t Spend 1 Million to Win $100K
Because I was under the impression that I was going to win big bucks, I went overboard when it came to purchasing scratch-offs. The first time I went to buy the tickets, I spent $100. I bought a couple of $10 tickets and $5 tickets. I lost. I was livid! That was my gas money for the month! I went back and read over the tips again, and I realized that this tip was saying I needed to budget myself for how much I was willing to lose. Dummy me. Who thinks that far ahead? I want to win. You know, it’s a part of the put-out positivity into the universe type thing. If I plan to lose, why would I even play in the first place?
Quit While You’re Ahead
In my head, I didn’t understand why these gurus would tell me to quit while I was ahead. I’m a college student, and my loans are stacking up. I turned to these gurus for sage advice, and they tell me to quit while I was ahead. What kind of advice is that? I mean, I guess it makes sense, but it’s kind of common sense information that your mother would tell you—not some expert!
I started to wonder if the information I paid for from these gurus were worth the $ 47-a-month membership fee… I abandoned my scratch-off ticket adventure and got down and serious with lottery tickets.
Conclusion – So, Let’s Recap
Getting tips from these lottery gurus costs you a pretty penny. I spent $47 a month for two months before I decided to call it quits. At that time, I only won a sad $5 out of the couple hundred I spent on trying to win. I used the methods when trying to pick winning lottery numbers, and they resulted in nothing substantial. For the Mega Millions, I only got 2 out of the 6 numbers at any given time. If I combined them, maybe I would have won. It was a complete bust.
You know, the only way these lottery gurus are experts is in how to con you into thinking you’ll win! They did win the lottery! Who knows how many countless people fell for their cons! I feel duped. I feel cheated. I feel… Like a guru! If Don McNay can sell his tips and information in books and stuff, why can’t I? I mean, my tips are far more useful than the crap the Lottery Guru with the 70s porn mustache, and people love him! It’s my turn to cash in!
So, since you’ve read this article, I implore you to pay for this information. I am just kidding.