Online Lottery Sucks! Yep, You’ve Heard That Right

Here Is Why Online Lottery Sucks

There are things we love and cherish, we appreciate and we thank the world for accommodating us with them, and then, there’s online lottery. It’s the bane of many people’s existence. Can you feel it? Can you feel the sarcasm boiling and moving in the air? This is going to be excruciating for me, but I have to do it. I know you will cringe at some point, but it’s for the greater good. Let’s have a good laugh at people who find online lottery odd and useless. This one is just for us, genuine online lottery players who have a dry sense of humor. Let’s have fun, shall we?

Online Lottery is Inconvenient – Makes Lottery Look Bogus

Of course, it’s inconvenient. I have to set up an account, register with my personal information. That’s a lot of work that needs to be done in order to start playing online lottery. So I did all of this, now what? That’s it? No ticket? Everything is digital, it feels really fake to me. How can I be certain that if I win I will get my prize? People have gotten so attached to the physical world that if they can’t feel it, it’s not there. Well, I’m one of those people! I want to be able to smell my ticket, to actually feel it passing through my fingers. And most importantly, I want to put that lottery ticket in my wallet so I don’t lose it. Yes, if it’s in my wallet, I won’t lose it, especially if I’m about to win. Talk about convenience, right?

Only Wannabe Lottery Players Play the Lottery Online

Let me rephrase this in a different. Real men can grow beards, if you can grow a beard you’re not a man. Now put this into lottery perspective. Real lottery players go out and of their comfortable homes and buy lottery tickets from the retailer downtown, they don’t consider online lottery as an option. At this point some of you have already started laughing out loud. But please, bear with me. It gets better.

Playing the lottery should be a ritual, a process where one has to get up and struggle, wait in a line, pay cash presumably and get a hard copy of the tickets. Can you spot the trend? If you can’t by the end of the article you will notice it, believe me. “Real” lottery players despise online lottery players. They are the synonym for a lottery player whereas those who play it online are just what the title says wannabes.

Online Lottery is Time Consuming and it’s Hard to Keep Track

Yeah, well, if you want to find an excuse you will, even if that’s not entirely true. In fact, it’s not true at all. I prefer to have lots of paper on my table at home with statistics on the past draws, my history, my returns and my overall lottery budget. That’s who I am and that’s how I imagine lottery should be. I really hate computers, especially that thing called online lottery. How do those people actually keep track of the statistics? Do they even analyze the lottery? They really don’t know how to play the lottery. My friend plays online lottery and I never see any statistics he keeps track of. He has been playing the lottery for years and he still hasn’t learned the basic rules. Also, he doesn’t have a safe spot for his tickets. Where does he keep them? I’m sure he has lost some by now.

It’s not safe to Play Online – I Use Only Cash to Buy Lottery Tickets

Cash is king is what I say. I like to pay for my lottery tickets in cash at the counter. I’m very hesitant regarding giving over my personal information and credit card details to some random person online. How do I know if my information is safe? Is my cash balance safe at all?

I love playing the lottery, but I like to buy my tickets from a lottery retailer. Online lottery is the devil. I don’t trust any licensed online lottery shop. I can’t trust this machine. My son plays video games on it. I can’t risk and buy tickets for online lottery with my computer.

Online Lottery is For the Socially Awkward and Couch Potatoes

This! Online lottery players are certainly lazy. That’s probably the main reason why they play online lottery instead of going out and buying from Joe’s shop. I’m sure they can’t even start a conversation. That’s why they stay at home all day long. On top of this I’m 100% certain they have no success in the online lottery whatsoever. Otherwise, they’d go out and show off in at the lottery shop when they claim their prizes.

I know I have been fortunate lately due to the lack of organizational skills and my negative attitude, but at least I’m playing the lottery the way it should be played, offline! At least I actually go out and try to talk with other players while being envious of their success.

Such is the way of lottery players who never tried online lottery.

Note that this article’s purpose is to at least put a smile on your face. Some of you may have stumbled upon people who act like this. Don’t judge them. Everybody is free to do whatever they feel like doing.