I May Be Ridiculously Rich After I Won Lottery Jackpot, But I DON’T Want That!

Who the Hell Will Buy This???

When it comes to winning the lottery, sometimes it seems like people will spend their money on just about anything. Some people spend their money on expensive houses and cars, trips and giving it away to charity. Then, of course, you have the dark side where people waste their money on drugs, prostitutes, liquor, and other seedy things.

When I was asked what I wouldn’t buy if I won the lottery, instantly my mind went to things that I wouldn’t buy now—like drugs, a huge mansion (I like my comfortable abode and would feel so lost in a huge house), or an expensive luxury car (because who really needs a Lamborghini to drive around a small town?). So, I got to looking around the internet for some things that seem so out there, it is hard to believe that anyone would buy it.

Who Wants a Massive Gum Ball Machine? C’mon Guys, It’s Black Friday!

Now, I love chewing gum as much as the next person. I especially adored the brightly colored balls as a kid. However, I have never once wanted a gumball machine. As an adult, I know now that the gum gets stale, hard, and has absolutely no flavor. So even if I still loved gumballs, I would never spend $3,500 on one. Not to mention it would take forever to eat them all!

Meet Optimus Prime Statue!

There are a number of Optimus Prime statues that are available for sale on the internet. Some of them look like the toy while others look like they came straight out of the Transformers Movie! The one on the right is made of fiber reinforced plastics, steel core, and sheet metal and will set you back 3m yen (or approximately $30,000 USD). The one on the right is made of used car parts and stainless steel. This one will set you back about $11,000.

Okay, How About Barbie?

Do not get me wrong, I loved Barbie as a child. I had a plethora of dolls and tons of accessories. I cannot think of any girl who did not want to be Barbie while growing up. With that said, I have never adored Barbie so much that I would want to go to Christie’s Auction House in NYC and bid between the estimated $300,000 to $500,000 for her. What makes her so special you ask? Well, she is not a special piece, but it is more about her necklace. The custom necklace Barbie is wearing was custom designed by Canturi Jewels and features a one-carat pink diamond surrounded by smaller white diamonds.

Maybe Some Coffee?

If you have ever seen the movie Bucket List, you know that Jack Nicholson’s character loved Kopi Luwak, the world’s most expensive coffee that comes from Indonesia. What he (and many people) did not know was the coffee gets its distinct taste from the manner in which the coffee beans are harvested. Okay, I will not beat around the bush… The Kopi Luwak coffee is made from the poop of the Civet. The animal eats the coffee berries and then poops it out. Then it is harvested, and voila! You have an expensive coffee. So… Now that you know how it is made, do you want to pay $600 for a pound of squirrel poop?

…Staples?

Just when I thought I have seen it all, I am amazed by what is available on the Internet. Now, if I ever need a box of staples, I will just go to the Dollar Store and pick up a box. You cannot go wrong with a box of 500 staples for a dollar, especially when the paper and the staples will just be thrown away at one point. Can you believe that oooms.nl offers 14 gold plated staples for $175? That is $12.50 per staple!! Hell, I could get 87,500 Dollar Store staples for that price!

Crystal Ergoripado Vacuum. Could You Resist?

Now, I cannot think of anyone who actually enjoys doing household chores and I definitely would not spend $18,993 on a damn vacuum! This vacuum is covered in 3,730 Swarovski crystals, is battery operated and bagless. It is one of a kind, which is cool, I guess because I cannot picture too many of these bad boys sucking up cookie crumbs and dog hair.